Did you know that sex dreams are rarely just about sex or sexuality? Sex dreams can symbolize different aspects of the psyche, from sexual liberation to frustration, PTSD, or simply memories and thoughts from waking life.
The meaning of a sex dream highly depends on the individual and what may be going on in their life at that particular moment. It is also important to consider the person’s beliefs in terms of spirituality and religion, as research has shown that our beliefs shape the meaning of our dreams.
We will take a look at some common examples of sex dreams and explore what dream science has to say about them. For further analysis, we’ll delve into the various symbols that may lie behind recurrent sex dreams.
What Psychology Says About Sex Dreams?
According to psychoanalytic theory, sex dreams can have a variety of meanings depending on the specific context and the dreamer’s personal experiences and emotions.
Sigmund Freud believed sex dreams meant that the dreamer wished to have such relations in real life.
Carl Jung believed that dreams could have many meanings. They might be triggered by something you read, watched, or talked about that day. Perhaps sex was on your mind, or it could simply be a happy memory replaying itself.
As the 21st century progresses, new psychological theories suggest that sex dreams might simply be the mind’s way of exploring fantasies (also believed by Freud as ‘wish fulfillment’) and playing out different scenarios.
According to the activation-synthesis theory, some psychologists posit that sex dreams are just random compilations of thoughts, memories, and images the brain creates as it tries to make sense of random electrical signals formed during REM sleep.
Regardless of the theory, researchers have long hypothesized that dreams reflect waking thoughts and concerns. There is meaning to them as they are derived from the conscious and unconscious mind as well as everyday life.
Irregular sex dreams are not associated with psychological needs since they may represent daily thoughts or memories. Recurring sex dreams however often symbolize unmet needs, frustrations, or post-traumatic stress disorder.
For example, a sex dream with an ex that happens once can be linked to a memory but recurring dreams about an ex can be signs of PTSD, resentment, frustration, guilt, or longing. By looking at the emotions you feel afterward, you can easily pinpoint why the sex dream keeps recurring.
What your specific dream means will depend on the frequency, characters involved, scenarios in the dream, and the emotions associated with it.
Common Examples of Sex Dreams
The following examples are aimed at a general expression of the dreams to help the reader relate to their specific scenario by extrapolating the underlying meaning and their environment plus experiences. For a more in-depth dream analysis, please consult a dream expert.
1. Sex Dream About Crush
A study found that only 40% of participants had sex dreams about their current partners, indicating that most people often have erotic dreams about other people, including crushes, instead of their partners.
The dream is a wish-fulfillment fantasy that reflects your daily thoughts about your crush, soothing the unmet connection you yearn for in real life. It’s more about the emotional connection than the sex.
2. Sex Dream With An Ex Or Someone Other Than Your Partner
This dream often indicates unresolved feelings or unfinished business with the ex-partner. Sigmund Freud might have interpreted it as a manifestation of lingering attachment or unresolved conflict.
A 2021 study showed that partners who were in long-term committed relationships were greatly satisfied sexually, had a higher frequency of intercourse, and were more likely to have sex dreams involving their partners.
On the other hand, those who were in short-term, unsatisfying relationships were more likely to have sex dreams involving an ex or someone other than their partners.
The study also showed that unfaithful partners were more likely to dream of an ex or another partner.
Many may believe that the dream reflects a want to get back together with the ex. This can be the case, but often dreaming of an ex shows a need for closure and forgiveness either towards the ex or oneself.
Also Read: Dream About Ex-Boyfriend Meaning
3. Sex Dream Of Someone/Stranger Seducing You
A dream of a stranger seducing you or you having sex with him/her often reflects a desire for new adventures and a longing for excitement.
Sigmund Freud noted that if this feeling is subconscious then it may indicate repressed desires that are unexplored by the dreamer but that the dreamer wishes to address.
The dream can also mean a need to be free and break from the constraints of the current life. It can mean a need for self-discovery, growth, and embracing the unknown.
If you are in a committed relationship, such dreams may worry you about thoughts of infidelity. However, this is usually not the case. In cases of infidelity, the dream often involves an ex or another partner he/she is involved with.
4. Sex Dream With A Friend
There is a stereotype when it comes to sex dreams about friends. Many think it means you have romantic feelings for the friend but psychologically it symbolizes a desire for a closer bond and understanding. Other meanings include respect and admiration.
It is also an indicator of an unusually intimate relationship with him/her. This is more so the case when there are blurred lines between platonic and romantic connections between the two parties. The dream indicates a need to lean more towards one side since having both creates conflict.
5. Sex Dream With A Member of The Same Sex Despite Being Straight
Sex with a same-sex partner does not bring your sexual orientation into question.
According to Carl Jung, the dream symbolizes the integration of your masculine and feminine side within yourself. The integration can be in the way you see yourself, your roles at work or home, your aspirations, desires, and interpretation of the world.
It can also reflect conflict with social taboos and a need to embrace both masculine and feminine energies. The dream can show an admiration to embody certain aspects of the opposite gender.
It can also indicate a fear of inadequacy in your masculinity or femininity.
6. Sex Dream With A Celebrity
Wish fulfillment is the main theme in this dream if you find the celebrity attractive and have thought/fantasized about being with them intimately.
It can also mean the need for admiration and recognition especially if you look up to the celebrity and want to emulate them. It means a need to integrate your values with theirs and be likened to them.
On a non-recurrent dream, this can be a reflection of a celebrity-obsessed culture where media influence is spread throughout your life, thereby slipping into your dreams.
7. Dream of Sex in Public
Any dream that entails getting naked in public reflects a fear of being judged and anxiety towards insecurities and not meeting expectations. This is the case when the dream evokes negative emotions.
For positive emotions, sex in public symbolizes rebellion and a desire to break free from social expectations.
The dream may also represent a need for validation from the public.
Read More:
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- Dreaming of Falling in Love Meaning
- Dream About Kissing Someone
- Dream About Being Pregnant Meaning
How To Stop Having Sex Dreams?
Recurrent sex dreams are a result of unaddressed emotions, situations, or difficulties. During sleep, the mind consolidates memories and emotions to help you remember more and relax. If some situations stay unaddressed, whether positive or negative, they will keep recurring during sleep.
To stop having sex dreams, the first step is to write down in a dream journal everything you remember about the dream. The best time to do this is immediately when you wake from the dream. The longer you wait the less you will recall.
Proceed to write down the emotions that each dream scenario evoked without judgment. This will allow you to fully air out every detail of your reactions. Compare various scenarios to each other and your waking life.
It will be smoother if you involve a counselor/therapist or dream psychologist during this process. They will be able to indicate some connections you might miss during your self-analysis.
Repeating this process over several sex dreams will gradually reduce their frequency as you proceed to reflect on the concerns they may bring out.
Final Thoughts
Everyone has had a sex dream, and it’s nothing to worry about—it could just be from a memory or something you watched or talked about that day. By using our dream analysis blueprint, you can better understand the underlying meaning of your specific dream and use it to make more informed decisions.
Also, understanding what sex means to you personally can change the dream’s meaning significantly. Make sure your interpretation relates to your own experiences and views. Since the meanings can be vast and sometimes conflicting, it’s best to consult an expert for a more definitive understanding.